I was recently asked where did I disappear to, and in an attempt not to disappoint I'm here to write about some of things I've been going through since I last wrote.
I want to talk about LOVE & LOYALTY! I feel like they go hand in hand. When you love someone, loyalty should be second nature. But a lot of times it isn't. Over the past 10 months, I've learned a lot about Loyalty. The people who I thought would remain by my side forever have become distant memories. The people who I thought I had the GREATEST connection with ,I thought they would love me forever. And the people who I loved the most, I thought they would protect me from my enemies. Then I realized that I was only dreaming. I've lost friends , family, acquaintances and love. This year more than any. I suppose it made it more prevalent because I lost 2 people who I took for granted. I always thought they would be here, but then when I looked up they were gone. I swear "Death Ain't Natural", but I won't go there right now.
When I talk about LOVE, I'm not speaking of just the meaning in the dictionary. I'm speaking of the feeling you have for a person, a second nature feeling. Love for me is something you can't explain. I've once told someone , "If you can tell me why you love me then it isn't real". And to this day I mean just that. But I feel like you can most definitely show love. To show love, I'm talking about communication, trust, respect and support. When you love someone you communicate with them. Never allow them to have to guess what's wrong, or how you feel, or what you're trying to say. Tell them.... leave an open line of communication. With communication comes trust. You have to be willing to trust and be trusted. In order to be a worthy communicator , your word should be bond. Next is respect. Respect is HUGE Rochester, HUGE!! If more people respected each other then a lot of these issues wouldn't even be a topic. Respect decreases arguments, fights, and a lot of disagreements. Lastly support, when you love someone you support them. I'm not talking about just financially either. Support means to walk with people through their struggles, and help them out of them. Support means to offer a shoulder when they need to cry or to offer advice when they need emotional assistance.
When I talk about LOYALTY, I mean just that. Let's really talk about what it means to be loyal. Just off the strength of the word, Loyal is being down for someone by any means necessary. It's a devoted attachment to a person, something that can never be wavered. Loyalty has been a big topic in previous years. That word and meaning alone has caused friendships to end ,families to fall apart, and people to lose their lives. Being loyal is a trademark in the streets. An unloyal person is an untrustworthy person. Pertaining to relationships, I feel like being loyal is a maker or breaker. If you have loyalty in a relationship a lot of the issues that couples face everyday wouldn't happen. Being loyal would decrease divorces, and cheating. But who I am, what do I know? I'm just speaking off of experience. I know from experience, Women tend to be SUPER loyal, when in turn men aren't at all. And that speaks volumes in our society.
The reason I decided to blog on this topic was because of my own personal issues when it comes to these two things. LOVE & LOYALTY has been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember. I've remained loyal to people who I shouldn't of , and I've loved people who only broke my heart. I'm in a new head space and I've started to analyze my life and the people in it. I started to look at the things that I've been through and understand why I needed to go through them. I feel everything happens for a reason and that there is a lesson to be learned in it all. People constantly ask me why I look so mad all the time, and its to the point where I don't even understand why they feel like I look "mad". My face has been the same for so long that I never notice the "Mad", I just look in the mirror and see "Ericka". This is who I am and this is what I have been . There is pain in my story and maybe that's why my outer core is so hard. When you spend most of your life trying to mask the pain, you start to look like how you feel. I've loved and been loved. Yet and still my pain remains the same.
To be continued....
